Fatal Frame Gone Bad
by Iridescent Hope
Summary: Now with even more brand spanking new chapters! FF III parodies in the works. Oh, I am a bad bad person
1. Disclaimer

::runs onto the stage and bows deeply:: I apologize for any who reads the following material and is offended. Frankly, I think anyone would be…

This is not a 'bloopers' story. This is a parody. There is a difference. For one, I don't even think in the bloopers some of the things that are going to happen in this story could happen. They're just too… weird. For another… it's not a bloopers story.

More chapters should be added regularly. We apologize for the shortness of chapters, but, well… there will be a lot of chapters, so deal with it! ::cackles:: ::goes to run off stage before tomatoes are thrown at her::

Oh, by the way…

FATALFRAMEISNOTOWNEDBYUSITISOWNEDBYTECMOANDEATATJOE'S!


	2. Da Bomb!

"I'm tired of you." Holding her camera in front of her face, Miku glared at the ghost floating calmly in front of her. "I'm tired of fighting all of you. You're annoying. I will kill you now." With that, she clicked the shutter down, listening in satisfaction as the ghost screamed in pain. There was a bright swirling blue light and the ghost disappeared, trapped in the camera.

"I'm tired of you all." An evil glint entered the youngest Hinasaki's eye. "I am so tired of you all! Why am I even here? Tell me that? Why?!" Picking a branch up from a near-by tree, she whirled around and slammed it into a ghost coming up behind her. "Huh? Did you really think you could sneak up on _me_? Ha! What a joke! I rule you all!" Cackling, she threw the branch onto the ground and raised the camera, trapping yet another ghost. 

"Pathetic, that's what you all are. Pathetic! Grah! Why can't I find a decent ghost to fight, huh?" Picking the branch back up, Miku walked down the path past the well. As soon as she went by, the lid slid off and out popped the ghost of a young girl. "You want a piece of me?!" Whirling around, Miku threw the branch like a javelin, going straight through the girl's stomach. During her moment of confusion, she raised the camera and snapped a picture.

"And dun dun dun. Another one bites the dust! Do do dun dun dun. Another one bites the dust! Oooh, yeah!" Doing a little dance, Miku ran back and grabbed her 'spear', twirling around. "I'm the ghost-slaver, hear me ROOAAAAR!" Laughing some more, she ran down the path, shoving the bamboo door open. "Laaa de daaa, I am amazing! Hahaha!" Twirling around once more and laughing in delirium, she began to walk calmly up the stairs to the Shinto Shrine.

About halfway up the steps, a bat flew out of no where towards her head. For a brief moment, panic filled Miku, but after that moment she raised the branch and gave the bat one good 'whack'. Smiling, she watched as the small creature flew back into the distance. "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you mess with Da Bomb! Woot!"


	3. Pervy Ghosts

Okay, see, like, this is how it was. Ya follow me? Good, cause it was like, BAM! And my brother disappeared. See? And seeing as how he was, like, my only living relative, I thought, hey, maybe I should go look for him. And ya know, after looking for him for a while I track him down to this place called Himuro mansion. And it's like, woah, cool, haunted place. And everything's fine and dandy, but then, BAM, it happens.

See, there were like these ghosts there. Follow me? Yeah. Well, these ghosts, they weren't too happy with me, for some reason. I dunno. I was hearing that the top lady was screwing with my bro, and I was gona go take him away, so maybe that all has something to do with it.

Anyways, see, they didn't like me. And the first couple were cool and all, but then I became to meet up with some nasty ones.

First there was this dude. With really long arms. And some really tacky overalls. Man, he was like, dude. Totally out of it. And I was like, dude, really, get some better threads and shit. And he was like, dude, I wanna feel your chest. So, he like runs up to be and starts feeling up my chest!

Well, ya know, I couldn't put up with this. 'Cause no girl's gona let herself be molested by no ghost, ya know? Ya with me? Yeah, okay. So I like, whip out my camera and was all like, dude, you leave my chest alone or I'll photo you. And he didn't pay me any attention, so BAM! I shot him.

So yeah, I was all fine with that and shit, and I'm running down these hallways, and I get outside. And it's like cold, dude! But whatever. I'm running outside, and I think, hey, maybe there's something in this room. So I go into this room, and I see this little girl in the corner, and I yell at her, Little girl, come out or I'll photo you, and she doesn't move, so BAM! I get this picture of her.

Okay, so like, when I'm done with that, this cabinet behind me opens up. Follow me here? Good. Anyways, this cabinet opens up and this little girl comes crawling out. And what do you think she does, but starts biting my knee! I was like, DUDE, GET OFF MY LEG! and she was like, no, I like your leg, and I was like, dude, I'll photo you, and she just goes on biting, so I snap a picture of her and she dies!

I'm kinda getting disturbed at this point, what with all these rude and pervy ghosts goin all around here. And it's like, not cool. Follow me here? Good. So I leave the room, kinda unhappy, and I'm walking on this porch trying to like, get out into the yard, when like, this lady drops down. And I'm like, lady lady, are you all right? And then she's like, Byyaaaaah… and she gets up and her heads all twisted and shit. So I'm not sure what to do, and I threaten to photo her, but when I try to nothing happens!

By this point, I was all like, dude, this ain't cool, and panicky and shit like that. So I just kinda stood there, not sure what to do, when she _turns around and starts biting my chest_! So I kinda had like enough of that, and I just ran from the mansion. Never went back there again. And I'm not really sure what ever happened to my brother, follow me here?


	4. Screw You, Mafuyu

My brother...  
  
He disappeared...  
  
Two weeks ago...  
  
Hey, wait a second. Why do I care? Sweet! No more annoying big brother! Yeah!  
  
Er, I mean, he came to this house... 


	5. The Nose Mask

Miku looked into the eye hole of the mask apprehensively. She had meet up with four of these... dumb would be the only word to describe them. For dumb ghosts before coming here, and something told her that she would soon find the answer to their behavior. But really, did one actually want to know what could make a ghost act like a retard?  
  
Two men came in, holding a woman who was screaming and struggling. There was a man whom she assumed to be the Himuro Master there too. He had on... the Reflection Mask? and he was holding the oddest looking mask she had ever seen. It was like an eye mask but looked like it only covered your nose?  
  
The woman started begging the Master not to do whatever it was that he was about to do. Watching with fascination, Miku saw that not only was the mask he was holding a nose mask, it looked like there were two crayons sticking out of the eye, er, nose holes. What could that be used for?  
  
With a swift and decisive movement, the Master shoved the mask onto the woman's face, ramming the crayons deep into the her nose. Tearing it away, she saw blood streaming from the woman's nose as the woman frantically tried to stop the bleeding.  
  
Oh my god, Miku thought. He shoved crayons up their noses? What good did he think that would do? Leaning forward, she accidentally moved the mask, causing a loud grating noise. To her horror, the Master turned and looked at her. Stumbling back, Miku turned to run from the room when another... dumb ghost? appeared in front of her.  
  
"Oh no, not again," she groaned, not even bothering to raise her camera.  
  
"My eyes! My pancreas! My left elbow!" Moaning, the ghost repeatedly ran into a wall, waving her arms out in front of her. "My kindey! Ooooaaah!"  
  
Really, what were they thinking? 


	6. Blind Demon

"My eyes!"  
  
Eyes widening in fear, Miku froze in her tracks. That was what the Blind Demon had said when she had fought her earlier. Now she was hearing it again. Could there be another one?  
  
"My eyes!"   
  
Raising her camera, she turned and lookup at the stairs. There, coming down them, was another Blind Demon... or was it the same one? Backing up slightly, Miku prepared to press the shutter down-  
  
"My ey- AAAHHH!" Tripping on her dress, the Blind Demon fell down the stairs, slamming into the wall. "... ow..."  
  
"Oh lord..." 


	7. Kirie Has Problems

Ya know, sometimes I wonder why I even do this.  
  
I mean, what's the point in trying to rape Mafuya's look-a-like? They're not the same person... damn those bloody priest for killing them! That reminds me; I need to go torture their ghosts some more...  
  
But I digress. Really, what's the point? I mean, I'm suffering from Split Personality Disorder on a major level. Damn little girl in her fucking white kimono. She's ruining all my plans. Why can't she just leave me alone?  
  
Urg. Sorry about that. I tend to ramble on. Is there a problem with that, though? I mean, is it bad that I just ramble on? Rambling can be... fun sometimes...  
  
I digress! Really, I do! Also makes me wonder, I mean, there's a goddamned Shinto Shrine on this place, right? Yet Buddha statues? What the fuck is up with that?  
  
Once again, I get off topic. Gah. Can't I stay on topic?  
  
Wait... what the fuck is the topic?  
  
... fuuuuuck.... 


	8. Miku's Poem

Please don't ask where I got this pen

For I stole it from a ghost

I think she was Broken Neck number ten

But I don't mean to boast

As I sit here and write this down

A story I must tell

I know my brother on me would frown

I'll tell you why, I shall

You see it all started late last night

Around the mansion I crept

Then Kirie I saw! I screamed with fright

But then I saw she slept

Now why, I thought, would a ghost be sleeping

Especially on the old wooden floor

But then, I thought, if she can't hear me creeping

Maybe I should investigate some more

So towards her I crawled, deep in silence

Preparing for her to awaken

When she did I knew there would be much violence

But what I found has left me shaken

To my horror, I found, Kirie was a man!

Dressed in robes so white

On my feet I stood, and turned, and ran

And ran with all my might

A man, I thought, and a man so gay

To love my brother so

And though ashamed I am, I say

My brother is too, I know

So now I plan from this mansion, I will go 

And leave my brother here

I'm not homophobic, I'm not, I know

But two men screwing… I don't want to be near!


	9. Yae's True Feelings Are Revealed

Ya know, the whole camera thing is way over rated. Really, it is. 

You see, the real reason I, uh, ya know, killed myself has nothing to do with the camera. In fact, I found the camera amusing. Heh, yeah. Sadistic little bitch, aren't I? No, I was tired of Ryozo. "Go do this, go do that, go find your daughter that you lost, quit trying to stab me, blah blah blah." Really, he was demanding. And after awhile I was like, screw you, and left. And hung myself. Best decision in my life, I'd say.

Okay, well, anyways, the camera's over rated. I mean, my granddaughter's, she's all like: "I HAVE CAMERA OF DOOM! FEAR ME!" Me? I'm like, ooh, pretty camera. Think that's going to hurt me? Ha! I laugh at you, son of a swine!

All right, so she's not really the son of the swine, partly because she's a girl. And not a guy. But still, it's all the same. The damn camera doesn't kill ghost! We just run away from her! She's scary!

… oh look, here she comes now to 'kill' me. Sigh. Am I the _only_ person around who's damn children and children type people just have this urge to hunt me down, even after I'm dead? I mean, I don't even want to begin to go into what Mikoto did. Yeah. Evil child. Eeeeviiil…

Yeah, okay. I need to go now. Scary great-granddaughter's trying to kill me now. I need to go bite her neck and chest. Yeah.

Life sucks. Then you die. HA!

This is the _last _time I ever join a communist society of ghost. I swear to god, or Buddha, or whatever, this is the last time I ever do that. 


	10. Kirie Has More Problems

Okay, I'm back again. And really, this time I _know_ what I'm talking about. None of this not knowing what the topic is or anything like that. Really, I swear.

But you know, this somehow reminds me… That Miku is _really_ annoying. I mean, she goes and runs around with that little camera of her's. With like, type 14 film. Oooh, yeah, that's really going to hurt me. Ha! I laugh at her!

Oh, here she comes. Searching for her brother. Yawn. I like her brother. He's good at sex… but you didn't hear that from me. Human and ghost sex kinda… disturbs him. Don't really blame him, though. Humans are always so squeamish about things like that.

Anyways, here comes the little one. With her little camera. Ooh, she's loading new film in it. What, type 37? What_ever_! Really, that's not going to do anything to me. Except maybe tickle me. Or something like that. She's about to take a picture. I laugh at her. Ha! Hahahaha-

OW! DAMN TYPE 400 FILM! MY EYES! MY BLOODY EYES! OW OW OW OW OW!

… wait… damnit, I knew the topic! I knew it! This isn't fair! Damn Miku Hinasaki! DAMN HER! Grr…


	11. Mio And Mayu

"Don't worry Mayu. I'll be back. I promise."

"Please don't leave me. You promised me you wouldn't leave me."

"I… it'll only take a minute. I'll be back!"  Standing up, Mio turned and ran down the Warehouse hallway, shoving the door open to stumble into the Underground Cellar. 

_I'll be back. I promise I will._

She could hear something crawling up from the well, a woman moaning. Ignoring it, Mio ran past the well, ran past the lantern, ran up the staircase. The Hammer Key nearly slipped from her hand as she tried to open the door, hearing the ghost move closer to her. __

_I'll be back. I won't let anything happen to you. Not like this all isn't your own fault to begin with, what with you following those glowing red butterflies, but hell, I'm your twin! I'll still help you!_

Cold, wet air hit Mio as soon as she opened the door. Slamming it shut behind her, she ran through the garden, ran over the bridge.

Ran through the town.

Had to find Itsuki. 

"Yae! Yae, come here!"  

"Itsuki, how-?"  
  
"You need to get Sae out. Find the key. It's in the basement at the Osaka house. Solve the pinwheel and search the altar."

  
"But Itsuki, where is the Os-?"

"Hurry! She needs your help!"

_Goddamn f***ing ghost trapped boy with the f***ing white hair won't even f***ing tell me where the goddamn house is!_

"… yes, I know she needs my help. That's why I'm here to begin with."

Mumbling, Mio left the boy there. Scanning her map, she groaned. _Idiot, the house is like two feet away from you…_

Into the house. Again. Fighting the woman. Again. 

Into the cellar. Searching the altar. Stupid boy didn't even get that right – The key was in the box.

Running. Back to the house. Back through the cellar. Back down the hallway.

"Mayu… Mayu, I'm here. I got the key. I told you I would come back." Unlocking the door, Mio entered the cell.

Her twin wasn't there.

"Mayu…?" Opening the second cell door, she ducked down and entered the smaller cell, scanning the area for her sister. "I came back. I got the key. Where are you?!"

Japanese the suspicious looked like the words "Eat At Joe's" was scrawled on the wall, and a note written by Mayu was on the bench underneath it. Picking up the paper, Mio quickly read it, her expression turning to disbelief.

"You f***ing cripple… YOU LEFT ME AGAIN?! GODDAMN YOU GIMPY!"

~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~

This is so not the best work being posted here. Sorry. This was written at… midnight. On New Years!... Eve or Day, I'm not too sure. 

If you couldn't figure this out, this was a Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly spoof. There should be a couple more. I mean, c'mon, there are just some many gimpy jokes waiting to be made.

More shall come soon, I promise! 

Oh yes. Fatal Frame II is, once again, not owned by me. Which is a good thing, because I would have never thought of this plot. I would have made it all about how Mafuyu found the camera. Which would have made a good game, but nevertheless this is a good game which I would not have made. 

Eat At Joe's!


	12. Spirit Stone Radio

Lowering the Camera Obscura, Mio stared at where the ghost used to be. There was something on the floor, in front of her. Bending down, she picked it up. "What's this…?"  
  
"It looks like some sort of crystal…" Mayu walked slowly up behind her. "Remember the radio you got?"

"Oh, yeah." Opening the black bag, Mio pulled out the small, rustic-looking device. "Didn't the note say that you just put a crystal or stone in? And you'll hear the thoughts of the ghost…" Putting the radio down on a table, she knelt in front of it and carefully put the small crystal into it. "Do you think it'll work?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything now…" Mayu shook her head. "What's going on Mio?"  
  
Mio turned and looked up at her twin. "I don't know. Maybe this'll help us understand." Looking back at the radio, she turned both the knobs.

_……… Ah-hem, is this thing on?_

_You've tuned into WAGV, the All God's Village radio station! Tonight, we have a special guest, Miyaki!_

_Oh Sae, thanks for having me on the show._

_So Miya… may I call you Miya? Why did you decide to come to the All God's Village? I can't say we've really gotten great publicity from the surrounding areas._

_Well, you see Sae, my boyfriend was doing a survey is these woods. Silly man… well, he stumbled across this village and, after being gone, I followed him. The res-_

Frantically, Mio switched the radio off, staring at it in faint horror. "Mayu…?"

"Yeah… Mio… I'm scared…"

"Me too Mayu…"


	13. The First Meeting With The Kusabi

The woman stood in the center of the room, laughing insanely, maniacally. Bloodstains covered the entirety of her kimono, dripping down the front of the once-white cloth onto the floor. Throwing her head back, she continued to laugh, her voice and tone rising and falling in pitch.

Mio stared at her, horrified. Dead bodies littered the floor around her and when she tried to back away one came to life, gripping her ankle. Screaming, she threw herself back and smacked into the wall with a 'thud'.

Grinning, the woman stopped laughing and stared at her. Memory-like visions flooded Mio's mind when their eyes meet, causing a flashing of pictures before her eyes. Groaning, she shook her head and blinked to clear her eyes. And gasped.

Where the girl had been was now a man. Gashes covered his face and ropes were wrapped around his body. A long flowing cape-like mist was behind him, twisting and shifting in the air. He was terrifying and she knew that she should run. But, despite that, Mio couldn't help but giggle. He roared in anger, but all this did was increase her laughter. 

"My god, a ghost with an afro!" 


	14. The Second Meeting With The Kusabi

The world was shaking around her, the walls and the floor groaning and ripping apart. Scared, Mayu ran into the large opened room, fearful of the ground tearing open and dumping her into some vast abyss.

And then she saw him.

He stood, floated in front of her, eyes wide open. Faces, bodies, arms, hands stuck out from behind him, remnants of the people he had murdered and killed. He groped the air in front of him with his own arms, searching for her.

Mio laughed. "Afro boy's back!"

Scowling, the Kusabi dropped his arms to his side and glared at her, causing her to break into a fresh wave of giggles. "Aww, and now he's _pouting_! Look at how adorably _cute_ he is!"

"… I don't find this very funny. Not funny at all indeed." This time she was too shocked to laugh.   
  
"You're a ghost in Japan, and yet you have an English accent?" He crossed his arm and responded, rather stiffly:

"Just because I am now located in a certain region on this earth doesn't mean I was born here! I have a past too, though no one ever seems to be very interested in it. Did you know that I fought in the war of 1812 against though bloody Americans? Or was it the French? I was also in World War I! Quite exciting, really."

As he droned on and on, Mio sweatdropped, pulling out the Camera Obscura. "Say cheese," she mumbled and pressed down on the shutter. Shrieking, the Kusabi flew backwards and fell off the side of the ledge in the room.

"Well, that's one way to deal with a ghost." 


	15. And What Really Happens When You Fight T...

" You… You're the failed Kusabi! Seijiro Makabe!" The ghost roared in response, moving towards her slowly. "Heh, well, end of the line for you!"

     Raising her camera, Mio inserted Type-Zero film and aimed. Walking back slowly to keep out of range, she waited for the perfect moment. "Waiting… waiting… NOW!" Pressing the shutter down, the room filled with a bright light as the Kusabi howled and disappeared. A small number appeared in the corner of the viewing window: 500. Sweet, 500 damage! This guy was going down in no time!

Moving around slowly to find him, Mio focused again, eyeing the lifebar. He had to be down at least a fourth. There was no way-

WHAT?! FULL LIFE?!

Furious at herself for somehow missing, Mio took another picture, watching the bar shrink down a third of the way. Ha. _Now_ she was doin' good.  
  
And he howled and disappeared again. And she searched for him.

And he had full life.

Mio felt like crying. 


	16. The Real Fake True Lie Ending

It was all over. The Kusabi was defeated… all that was left was saving her sister.

Panting, Mio stumbled into the room, staring at Mayu. She was just standing there, smiling. "We were born together…"

"What the hell?" Confused, Mio shook her head. "Mayu, come on! We have to get out of here!"

"But we can't die together."

"I repeat: What the hell?" Walking towards Mayu, Mio noticed that there were priests surrounding them. Mayu walked up to the end of a large pit and stopped, waiting for Mio.

"We have to die separately, live our lives separately, so that we can be together in the end." Pausing, Mayu stared at Mio. "We have to finish the ritual."

"… What?!" Anger and outrage filled Mio. "I've gone through hell and back to save your scrawny ass and now you tell me to kill you?! ARGH!" Rushing towards her twin, Mio shoved her back hard. With a screech Mayu fell backwards into the hole.

"… oops…"

*******************

I so wanted that to be the actually ending. Stupid girl, making her sister kill her at the end.   
Next chapter will probably not be directly aimed at either game. Most likely a rant. Just so no one is caught unprepared and all like: "… what?"

Look DarkmoonFlute! I got the names right this time! ::thumbs up:: Yeah!


	17. Rant

Okay, look, it's rant time! ::pulls out chair and sits down:: Settle down kiddies, we're in for a long haul with this lil' old update.

Now, I love the Fatal Frame games. They're awesome. I worship them. Makes me kinda wish that I found some haunted place… maybe a bus… and placed it over a hole in the ground and claimed that hole lead to hell. Of course, then I need maidens to sacrifice, and then I'd need to actually have the bus possessed by 'Malice', and I'd die, but it'd be like a real life Fatal Frame game! Wouldn't that be awesome? 

Note to self: Write Tecmo about haunted bus. 

But, really, you have to wonder. Is there some bondage fetish among the creators? The first game was all about the rope. Binding, pulling, strangling… it was all there. And then comes along the second game and the twins are tied together with a crimson rope. Itsuki hangs himself. Seijiro Makabe is tied up and hung from the ceiling! There is definitely some bondaging going on with the makers. That much rope is just unhealthy. 

And then you have to wonder about all these big holes in the ground that lead to Hell. Does the devil hate Japan? "Oh, look at that small island filled with people. Let me knock many holes in it and send my presence through it and kill them all." Wouldn't Japan start sinking by now? What with all those holes knocked it in… And does this mean that all Japanese products are evil? Because they came from the island of Hell? 

"You! Put down that Sony DVD player down! I must exorcise it!" 

I wish that would happen… it'd be hilarious… hmm, maybe I'll do that one day… 

Back to the rant! 

Another thing that I've been wondering and that DarkMoonFlute brought up: All the ghosts complain about not killing and not wanting to die, and yet they try to kill you. Best example has to be Azami and Akane. "Don't kill! Let me kill you! But don't kill!" Could they just make up their mind? And quit being so damn hypocritical? Grr. And they're all so whiney. "It hurts, it hurts." So you fell off a building and broke your neck and the pain will never go away because Malice is evil. Quit whining, you bother me! 

And off of that note, let us ponder the heroines. Mio and Miku. Just… why are they running through these… evil places hunting down their missing siblings? And wouldn't you be rather pissed if you go through Hell to save them, and in the end they either tell you that they're not leaving or that they want you to kill them. 

And who the hell just leaves random book scraps and diary scraps lying around? "Today I met a ghost. It tried to kill me." If I was stuck in a haunted place, that'd be the last thing on my mind to do. 

And do all Japanese people have a sixth sense? I'm not trying to be rude, but in the games they make them out like that. And Miku didn't have black hair, it was auburn. Which bothers me, but that's totally random. 

Now we begin to see why this is called a 'rant' and not an actual chapter. 

And they're all so calm! Mio is like… Oh look, a ghost, I'll just stand here and stare at it and ponder it's existence for a while. Oh look, it's chewing my leg… maybe that's a bad sign. Though Mayu makes up for her. That really irritates me, when you're trying to fight a ghost and Mayu's just standing there not even bothering to _run_ from the damn things and starts whimpering "Get away! Get away!" 

Ahh. Okay, I think I've ranted enough. No, wait, I haven't. 

And here the rant turns somewhat serious. 

I have emailed Fanfiction.net many times about creating a Fatal Frame category. And they've only responded once: "I'm sorry, we already have a La Chocolate movie category." Which really confused me, cause I wanted a Fatal Frame game category, but… okay… 

PLEASE join with me and email them! What you need to say is that you wish for a Fatal Frame category to be created, and that it would go in the Game section. Include a brief description of the games ( Girl goes into haunted house looking for brother, girl goes into haunted town looking for sister ). If you've written any stories, tell them so and include links. 

There is an IAF category – 2 stories. Arcus Odyssey – 1 story. Astyanax – 1 story! I have written more stories for Fatal Frame than those three categories combined!

Please please please help me with this. Email them at: newcategory@fanfiction.net and please go here and sign the petition: http:// www. petitiononline. com/ ff27/ petition. html. If enough people help with this than hopefully we will not be ignored. 

Thanks and love to all!

( I apologize for the link - just copy and paste it and remove all the spaces. FanFiction.net wouldn't have it actually appear in the story if it wasn't like that... grr... I had to fix this four times to get it to work! )


	18. Bitch Fight

And now, back to your regularly scheduled program…

***

The house, mansion, hadn't been there before. She was sure of it.

Staring at the giant beast of a haunted place, Mio felt her will to live slowly seeping away from her. It would be so nice to just let one of the nice ghosts take her away. They probably already had her sister by now, and if they didn't, well, Mayu was creepy anyways. Geeze, half the time Mio thought Mayu was Sae, which didn't bode well since Sae was out for Mio's blood.

Sigh.

Walking up and into the mansion, Mio scanned the room with her flashlight. Hmm. Nothing too out of the ordinary. It was a regular entrance well. Well, regular enough for the place she was in. There was a gate-type wall on the one side and through it she could see what looked like a dead body wrapped in a blanket. Ahh, just like the Osaka house! Familiar territory. Turning, she walked up the steps, avoiding the hole in the ground.

To her right was a wall with a funky looking mask on it. Neat décor. One of these times she'd have to remember to asks the ghosts what magazine they subscribed to and just where they got all these awesome little decorative touches. To her left was a screen and, upon further investigation, a camera behind the screen. A camera with a glowing green light.

Now _that _was something she'd have to write down on her "List of Suspicious Things" list. Just what was a camera doing here? Shrugging, she opened the door and started out into the hallway.

"Holy sweet lord…" There were ropes. Ropes. And more ropes. Everywhere. Hanging from the ceiling. Raising an eyebrow, Mio began to walk slowly through the hallway, weaving through the odd pattern of handing obstacles. "Okay, the mask was cool, but the ropes? Just clashes with the rest of the house, I can already tell. Puh-lease, you can tell a man was allowed to decorate this hallway.

"For the love of all the is sacred let me beeeeee!"

Mio froze. There was someone else in the house, er, mansion! Someone else who was alive! Running and ignoring all the ropes that smacked her in the face, she turned to the right and opened the door, entering the ro-

WHAM!

Whoever else was in the mansion ran into her, causing them both to fall back onto their butts. Shaking her head, Mio picked up flashlight back up and pointed in at the person…

"You!"

"What, me? You!"

Both girls glared at each, pulling themselves to their feet and crossing arms. "Miku Hinasaki, what are you doing in _my_ game?"  
"_Your_ game? Excuse me? You're in the Himuro mansion which, and correct me if I'm wrong, if in _my_ game, not yours."

"Uh, yeah, but you see, the mansion is in the All God's Village. Which is my game. Please explain to me why your stinkin' mansion is in my village."

"Why is your village contaminating my mansion?"

"Contaminating? What the heck do you mean by that?"

"Oh, you know what I mean. You'll do every house, ghost whore. I stick to one. I'm faithful."

"Oh that's it bitch. You're going down now!"

"Bring it on, twin murderer!"

~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ( They look like sleeping faces! )

On the balcony overhead, watching the two girls, four people congratulated themselves. "Really Mafuyu, this was an awesome idea."

"Oh please Sae. You helped."

"Only because Kirie suggested putting the two girls together."

"And I only suggested that because Mayu wanted to know what would happen if they got together."

The four lapsed into silence for a moment, watching the two girls duke it out. "… anybody care for some popcorn?"


	19. I Quit

Mio froze. She could hear the ghost behind her, the icy-cool touch of its fingers gliding across the back of her neck. "Why…?" The ghost whispered the question into her ear, languidly draping its arms over her shoulders. "Why…?"

"Oh no damnit. This ghost again?" Growling under her breath, Mio stalked away, leaving a very confused ghost behind. "I quit! If you want to talk to me I'll be in my trailer!" 


	20. Drowned Woman

Mio ran across the bridge, stopping only when she realized that she had lost track of the ghost completely. Fear and the mist rising from the sinister lake surrounding her caused her to shiver. _Oh no… where is she? _

A small splash to her left told Mio all she needed to know. Panicking, she did the only thing that she thought would help save her: She jumped off the bridge into the lake.

She had been expecting to sink down through the water. Instead, she landed in water that was barely a foot deep, her feet sinking into the mud. "… the hell?" The ghost floated down in front of her and shrugged apologetically. "You drowned in water that was this deep?" The ghost nodded enthusiastically. "I think I'm beginning to see why Malice killed everyone off in this town…" 


	21. Did You Think I Forgot About Kirie?

Did you think I would go away? Ha! I laugh at you, foolish mortal! Nothing can keep the great, mighty, and all-powerful Kirie down, not even the awesome and unsurpassable power of the Type 400 film! For I am dead and not killable!

… And I know the topic now, too. Isn't that wonderful? But before we go into that, let's have a little chat about this 'Crimson Butterfly' spiel that's been spreading around, and this 'Sae' person.

First: My god she is such a poser! Ugh, I can't _stand_ her! She sees how everything turned out with me and decided that she wanted a life like this, too. Of course she also decided that she wanted to spend it with her twin _sister_ and not a sexy man ( Itsuki wasn't good enough for her? ) but I just… really don't want to know what goes on between them. Despite the horrible rumors that have been floating around, I am not a male and I have not had mansex with Mafuyu, nor have I dreamed about it.

Ghosts don't dream. Just thought you'd want that clarified.

Second: She… she's totally ripping me off! God! I understand how Miku must have felt when this Mio chick showed up, busting up her town/mansion. It's so just not cool. They can go get their own gig somewhere else, thank you very much. Japan is _our_ island, not theirs! They can go to Baker Island!

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, let's get down to the point of this. The topic. Which is…

It's, um…

…

I can't even blame Miku this time, either.   
  
-----

Baker Island. It's a small island annexed by the US. Look it up. It's amusing.


	22. Pervert Mafuyu

People often ask me: "What's it like to be dating a homicidal ghost?"  
  
Well, all right, that's not true. People've never asked me that, partly because I haven't seen any person since I've come here. You know, with the whole dating the ghost thing, I can't really leave the mansion. In some ways it sucks, but I guess overall it's not too bad. I never have to pay for rent or mortgage.  
  
There are several downsides, though. Like the fact that I can't leave. Ever. And the cooking here isn't all that great either. I mean, they do their best, but dead people really don't know how to cook. Partly because they no longer have the ability to tell if something is fresh or not. Yeah. Makes for lovely meals.  
  
Kirie's also really possessive, which can get kinda annoying. If any of the Blind Demon's even glance in my direction they get banned into the Hell Gate for a month. Yeah. If one of the _blind_ ghosts _looks_ at me... I kinda got lost there.

The sex is also pretty fucked. I mean, she dead. And cold. And I would prefer using something that alive or at least warm, but like I said, she's possessive. Not like there is anything alive in this house, but... well, there was that cat...  
  
Of course, I've been forbidden from ever speaking about that cat ever again. Or any of the incidents involving any other small, furry mammals. Or the bat. Though I suppose that a bat is a small, furry mammal.  
  
Then there's also Miku, who just hasn't given up on getting me back. I know that it's kinda messed up with the whole time travelling bit, and I know that I'm going forward in time while she's going back, but it's getting a bit irritating. At least there are those nice, year long gaps where I don't have to deal with her at all. Though, you know, my sister is alive and is warm and she isn't a small, furry mammal...

The possibilities are endless. 


	23. Questions For The Audience

Hmm, this really isn't a Fatal Frame Gone Bad chapter, but I feel that, with this story, I have you all in the palm of my hand! Muahahaha! So you will read anything that I type out here with the intent for you to read it!  
  
Meh, whatever. Don't mock me, yo. I have power.   
  
Actually, I was just wondering: Has anyone ever experienced something really freaky _while_ playing either game? I don't mean freaky as in a ghost popping out ( in the game, of course. If a ghost popped out in real life then hell yes that would be freaky ) and you and your friends screamed. I mean real life true horror.  
  
I ask this because, well, I know for a fact that I have had several encounters with a ghost, and few of them have occurred while playing said game. Example:  
  
I was a friend's house, the same friend who helped me come up with the idea of starting this story, and we were playing the first game. This was around February of 2003, so it was a bit before the second game came out. We were about to get to the point in the first night when you pass the Doll Room and you hear the child crying when we, oddly enough, begin to hear a child crying. Turns out that Cry Me A River was playing on the radio.  
  
"Uh-huh. That's so freaky. Tell me, is there a point to this story?" Be patient, young grasshopper.  
  
A minute, maybe two pass after the song has ended. We go by the child crying door. Child cries in game and on the radio. Cry Me A River is playing. Again.  
  
Five minutes later, guess what song is on the radio? And guess what's playing maybe, oh, five minutes after that?  
  
"All right, so the disc jockey fell asleep at work and happened to be repeating the same song over and over again. Weird, yes, but not supernatural." True. Very true.  
  
A couple minutes later, the power goes out completely in her basement. Dad comes down. Turns out that the fuse for the basement in the circuit breaker had, for some reason, blown. Fuse is replaced. TV – and PS2 – will still not work. Why? They were both plugged into a power strip, and the switch to the power strip had been pressed down to be 'off'.  
  
Right before the power strip is turned on, guess what we hear on the radio...?  
  
There's more to, and behind, this story, but that's all that occurred involving the game. So I just have to wonder, considering that it is supposedly based from a true story ( and before anyone reviews saying that they know the story, I know it as well. I just wonder if it's really true or just some propaganda ), if maybe the game causes things to happen. It sounds dumb, but after some of the stuff I have experienced, I have to say that I'm willing to believe that.  
  
Sorry for this weird and not funny rant. Your irregularly scheduled program will be back next chapter.


	24. Tomoe and Koji

**This one is dedicated to the forgotten ones, Tomoe Hirasaka and Koji Ogata**

"Say cheese!" Smiling rather, well, cheesily, Koji turned to face the camera Tomoe was holding and flashed a 'V for victory' sign. She giggled and grabbed at the photograph when it came out, waving it around to speed up the rate of development.  
  
"Hope you remembered to brush your teeth. Wouldn't want to get an... embarrassing..." Her voice trailed off when she looked at the picture, fear and apprehension slowly taking over her features. "Koji... this picture... look!" She held it out for him to see.  
  
He was standing in a different pose, arms held flat at his side, and the shot was from further back, evident by the fact that his entire body was in the picture. Ropes were wrapped around his wrists, ankles, and neck, tied to the wall and ceiling around him. 

For a moment he too shared the anxiety that was taking over Tomoe, but shortly afterwards he laughed, shaking his head. She scowled and smacked him upside the head.  
  
"Idiot. If you wanted to try bondage you should've just _asked _instead of tampering with the camera!"

- this chapter is mostly funny simply because it _could_ fit logically into the game - 


	25. The Trouble With Yuu

AN: AUGH! I've been away for so long! And I have missed you, my children! sniff

I know, I always say the same thing ( promise to update more, promise to work of CBGB ) and I fail to come through but at least there's… some more? I really hope these haven't been done because I, unless recommended, don't pursue the Fanfiction quarters much anymore. 

So I wasn't going to do this 'gag' for my first chapter back but the other one I was working on was devolping into this not… one-line funny joke. So I need to either work with it or rewrite it ( thinking the later because I could milk two ideas from it ) but I hope to have that up tomorrow. In the mean time or whenever you want, really, pick some odd pairings out for me so I can mess around. Not that I really need the help – when you start thinking about Stroller Grandma with a Broken Neck, you have issues – but I'm curious as to what _your_ mind will come up with.

**I have a few chapters for FF III planned so WARNING, SPOILERS FOR THE THIRD GAME.**

Kind of.

Sort of.

If you, like, have absolutely no _idea_ what happens, then sure.

Jesus, the AN is longer than the story…

"Miku, without you…" Rei paused a moment, rolling the words around in her mind before carefully picking and choosing. She hugged the trembling girl with one arm, smiling when Miku glanced up cautiously at her. "You've been so strong. Without you, when Yuu died-"

"I never died." Rei blinked at this odd interruption.

"I know. I don't want you to. But, when Yuu did-"

"I just told you, I didn't."

"… I know. But, when Yuu-"

"How many times do I have to say I didn't die?"

"I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about Yuu."

"Oh, because _that_ statement makes complete sense."

"Are you being serious? _Yuu_, Miku, you remember Yuu?"

"It'd be really hard to forget about me."

"Not you, Yuu!"

"God, why are you so confusing!"

"You know what? Screw you." Rei got up from the bed, hands thrown up in discuss. "I hope you run to your damn brother and that priestess eats your soul alive because _you are too stupid to deserve to live!_" With that she stormed from the room, door slamming shut behind her. Miku scowled and mopped, huffing to herself.

"'M not stupid… you're the one that kept saying I was dead…"


	26. Reika and Kei

He could hear her moaning, horrible low grating noises that jolted every nerve in his body. Crouching down low and biting his lower lip, Kei kept himself pressed firmly against the wall as the air grew colder, a sign she was drawing nearer. Alternating bursts of paralyzing fear and muscle-jerking adrenaline made holding still even harder, but the ghost of the scared boy had been a Sign. If he stayed here, the Priestess would never see him, and he would be able to run by her to get to that room she had come from. He was sure of that.

The glowing, blue-skinned, half-naked woman floated past him and Kei tensed, slowly inching forward to dart around the screen. She turned after a moment, though, and started back the way she had come. Oh, no matter, he thought. I'll just wait for her to leave then…

She passed by the screen and he held his breath, eyes closed as he waited. The moans faded out and he grinned, triumphantly, eyes snapping open as he stood.

And stared at the Tattooed Priestess. "I, uh, what? You were supposed to be gone!"

"Oh, I was?" She shrugged.

"I was hiding!"

"With your flashlight still on."

"… I was hiding!"

"Behind a screen where I could _clearly_ see you from the other side of the room."

"I… I was…" He sniffed and whimpered, lower lip trembled. The Priestess threw her hands up in the air, exasperated.

"Look, why don't we pretend I never saw you? You can run off through that door and I'll moan through other parts of the mansion and torment the girls." Kei drew back in response, camera clutched like an oddly shaped teddy bear to his chest.

"Lies! Foul temptress! You shall never take me alive!" With that bold proclamation, he jumped forward and snapped a picture of the blue woman. She stood there with a blank, unfazed expression. He laughed and darted around her, running up the hall.

"And Kirie always complained about getting the crazy ones," Reika muttered, watching her lover's look-a-like run madly down the hall.


	27. Fatal Frame IV

Fatal Frame IV: The Musical

When Miku Hinasaki receives a mysterious message from the presumed dead Mayu and Yuu, the three lesbianic heroines embark on a journey to discover the dark truth. Deep within the Himuro and Kurosawa mansions, the path found only through the Manor of Sleep, lies the final Gate To Hell. They must search deep within themselves to find the power to defeat the ultimate tortured soul – the love child of Kirie, Sae, and Reika.

Featuring hit songs such as 'I Love You But You're Dead' and 'I Can't Help It That I Look Like Him', this musical features a full orchestrated ensemble and a brilliant cast. Be amazed and awed by the grace the actors have as they tell the story of a several young women caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. With dance moves taken straight from the ice-skating rink and a plot that's sure to tug at your heartstrings, FF IV is a video game that will not soon be forgotten.

Coming eventually to a videogame store near you.


	28. Two For The Price Of One

**Theory Behind Reika:**

I can't be the only one that wonders why she goes around half naked, can I? It's not like she was stripped of her top when she was being stake, so what gives? Why is she a creepy bare-breasted ghost?

_"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love – love's going to leave me!" Twisting and twirling around, Reika Kuze sung loudly to herself as she glided down the hallway. The melody was poppy and catchy; who could resist the urge to dance? "Too sexy for my shirt; so sexy it huuurts!" In the heat of the moment, she spun around and ripped off her top._

_And stared at the trembling, whimpering form of Yoshitaka. "Oh, for the love of…"_

**What Really Happened During Fatal Frame**

"Hi. This is Mafuyu Hinasaki. Welcome to Jackass!

"Today we're going to be pulling a practical joke on my sister, Miku. See, she believes that we have this supernatural power to see ghosts. We're going to completely revamp this mansion to make it appear as if it were haunted and then I'm going to just 'happen' to get trapped in it. Then, when she finally does find me, I'm going to pretend that I'm staying with the 'evil ghost'!

"Oh man, this should be hilarious."


	29. Nightmare

"Miku…?" Rei slowly lowered one foot on the top step of stairs, her right hand gripping the banister tightly. Cold air blew on her bare legs and she shivered. "Miku, are you down there?"

"… one, two…"

"Miku?" Forcing herself down the stairs, Rei gasped as she saw one of the young handmaidens standing next to Miku. Oblivious to her possibly deadly visitor, Miku reached out and pressed her hand against the glass of the sliding door."

"Freddy's gonna get you…"

"… Miku, did you stay up again watching scary movies?" Rei sighed and leaned back against the wall, thumb and forefinger of her right hand pressed against her forehead. Miku blinked and suddenly started, looking over at her. 

"Eh, oops. Sorry Rei…"


End file.
